Gundam Pilots New Job
by Kaosu Buraindo
Summary: The Sailor Senshi get sick of being hero's and decide to dump the job on someone else.
1. Chapter 1: Throwing Pride Out the Window

  
  
Okay, okay, I know this kind of thing has been done. Millions of times. But I wanted to do one for myself! So THERE. This WILL contain the G-Boys cross-dressing, but not because they want to ^_^. What? Oh, common, you thought I was gonna make up my own outfits for them? What's the fun in that??? I'll also be using the Japanese names for the Senshi (Scouts) So here's a wittle list of who's who.   
  


Usagi-Chan -Serena   


Minako-Chan -Mina 

Makoto-Chan -Lita 

Ami-Chan -Duh, Ami 

Rei-Chan -Rei 

Mamoru-kun -Darien 

Chibi-Usa -Rini   
Warnings: Uhh...crossdressing? Some light swearwords (if you consider them swear words)And thats it.   
Disclaimer: I don't own GundamWing or Sailor Moon.   
___________________________________________________________________________________________________   
  
One glorious day, in the city of Tokyo, a group of teenage girls –soon-to-be-adults, had a slight problem.   
  
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT ANYMORE!?" The girl snarled at her friend, jumping over to where she was and practically knocking heads with her blond room-mate.   
  
"Rei, calm down. I'm sure there's a simple explanation for all this." Ami stated calmly, putting down the issue of "Computers Digest" she had so recently been so indulged in.   
  
"EXPLANATION!? She's a lazy ass there's your explanation!"   
  
"I.Am.Not.Lazy!" The odango clad teenager protested, huffing and crossing her arms over her chest. "It's just that...well...Mamoru asked me to marry him and I don't want it getting in the way."   
  
"Now you see he-!!!" Rei was so abruptly cut off from her lecture by Makoto's elbow. The tall brunette removed her elbow from the top of Rei's head and sighed, shaking her head while her raven haired comrade fell to the floor in a pile of limbs. "Look Usagi-Chan, I know where your coming from. I'd also like to settle down and forget being a Sailor Senshi, but we have a responsibility!"   
  
Minako nodded her head and waved her finger at her loud friend. "Thats right, Usagi-Chan. You can't just quit! This isn't an ordinary job you know. Who's going to be a Sailor Senshi if we're not around? Who's going to protect the planet?"   
  
"But there hasn't been anything even remotely evil here since Galaxia!! Well...there was that Hanson group..." Everyone breaks out into a fit of shutters at the mention of the long dead pop band.   
  
"We know that, but there's always that chance that someone will show up and try to ruin all our happiness. You wouldn't want anything to happen to your family would you, Usagi-Chan?" Ami cocked her head to the side and waited for an answer from her long time friend.   
  
Usagi was quiet for a few moments, before she sighed._ Ami's right. I've never been happier with Mamoru, and Chibi-Usa's just got here, I wouldn't want anyone taking her away from me, especially since I haven't spent much time with her lately._   
"Okay, your right. All of you are. But still, I'd like to forget about it. Wait...can't we just give our powers to someone else for a while?"   
  
Luna opened her mouth to protest but stopped. No one said they couldn't find an heir of some sort. She reached into kitty hammerspace and pulled out the *dun dun dun dun* "Big Kitty Book of Useless Rules". She flipped through it, than slammed the book shut, tossing it behind her and hitting Artemis square in the face. "Your right, Usagi-Chan! You can hand over your powers to another person, you know, a Sailor Moon Jr.!"   
  
Usagi jumped off the couch with glee, spilling her tea all over Rei. Rei screeched and swatted at her dress, trying to get the stains out. Minako and Makoto grabbed paper towels and started to help their fretting friend.   
  
"This is amazing!! Finally, I can be a normal Teenager! And soon I wont even be a teenager anymore! Only 5 months left until I'm 18!" Usagi babbled on and on about how great it would be to enjoy her life, while her friends were still helping Rei with her dress. The raven-haired temple owner was frantic, clawing at the stains on her dress and screaming blue murder. She grabbed the closest Tea Kettle and ran at Usagi, intending to either dump the contents on her, or smash the whole thing over her head. Minako tackled Rei to the ground and wrestled the kettle out of her hand while Ami tried to clean up the mess they were making. Makoto shook her head and went to go get a wet cloth to clean Rei's dress with.   
  
Luna smiled at her friend, than blinked in realization. "Wait, Usagi-Chan, who would want to take that kind of responsibility?"   
  
Usagi abruptly stopped her celebrating with this statement, and turned her head slowly to look at her feline friend. "Uh oh...well, if worst comes to worst, we'll just dump the responsibility on them!"   
  
"USAGI-CHAN!" Her friends screamed in unison, shock and slight disgust eminent in their voices.   
  
"How could you even joke about such a thing? We'll go around town and see who's best for the job. If they don't accept than...err...we'll just find someone else." Ami calmly stated, holding back Rei who was ready to pound Usagi once again.   
  
"Right!" Usagi clapped her hands together and giggled. "Let the Sailor Senshi search begin!"   
  
******   
  
After two weeks of searching, finding, and begging, the Sailor Senshi came up with -nadda. Everyone that they had found didn't want the responsibility. They even considered just leaving their wands with them and running. But then their evil consciences came into play, and they just couldn't do it.   
  
Than one day, Minako spotted a boy. A very unique boy. A very unique and VERY good looking boy. And how could Minako ever resist a good looking boy? She vaulted right up to the teen and practically bumped into him. Damn, guess that only worked for Rei.   
  
"Hello!" Minako beamed, batting her eyelashes. "My name is Minako, what's yours?" She stated, and extender her hand to the boy.   
  
The boy trailed his Amethyst eyes over her hand, cocking a chestnut eyebrow. He shrugged and took her hand, shaking it. "Hi, the names Duo." He smiled his traditional smile and Minako practically melted.   
  
"H-hi..." She swooned, than got a hold of herself. _ Your suppose to be looking for Senshi candidates! You can't be a senshi and date at the same time! The sooner you find one the sooner this hunk will be yours._"I was just wondering...er...if you know any girls that are...strong?"   
  
Duo blinked at Minako. _ Strong? Physically? Why would she be- Ooohhh...I see. So she was just being friendly._"Err...well, if you want strong than I guess Dorothy might be nice...she isn't very good for a relationship tho-"   
  
"What???" Minako jumped back a good 5 feet when Duo said 'relationship'. _ He thinks I'm GAY!?_ "No no no! You've got it all wrong! I'm straight! You see, I have this...favor I want to ask, and I need someone strong, responsible, smart and brave." She sighed and let go of his hand, which she was holding tighter and tighter by the second. "Never mind, I'll see you later maybe. Bye!" She waved and skipped away.   
  
Duo stood there, staring at the empty space she had been occupying. He shrugged it off and walked away. _ Weird girl._   
  
Minako cackled from the spot she was hiding in. She had been following Duo around all day. He was PERFECT! So far he had helped three old ladies, carried a HUGE box for a store owner, and saved a little kid from getting run over. He was a younger, hotter, thinner Super Man! Okay, so he was a guy, but that didn't matter. Minako had found the one she was looking for. Now, to find one for the other girls. She followed Duo back to a huge house. _Oh boy, he's rich too!_ She thought to herself, rubbing her hands together. _ I really should go out with this guy._ She hid behind a tree in the backyard, and her eyes almost fell out of her head at what she saw. There were four, count em', four, hot guys in ONE spot! One was really tall and had a very freaky hairdo. One was blond and cheerful as he all but bounced up to Duo and started to talk to him. Another was sitting by himself on the porch, reading a book. Another one -he looked Asian- was sitting under a tree with a sword. She bounced up and down, this was too good to be true. There were five of them! These guys were Duo's friend's, they HAD to be as great as Duo! She giggled to herself and ran home, trying not to be seen. Unfortunately, sneaking around is hard when you're trying to hide from five of the world's best terrorists. Wufei and Heero both exchanged glances as they saw the blond skip away from behind a tree. Just another fangirl, they thought, and dismissed ever seeing her.   
  
*****   
  
"And he's REALLY cute! And he's really nice! And he's brave, and strong, and fast, and everything you'd want in a Sailor Senshi!" Minako jumped from couch to couch while stating the facts about her newly chosen Sailor Senshi.   
  
"But he's a MAN." Ami stated bluntly.   
  
"Yeah...a dreamy man..." Makoto purred, trying to picture what this hunk would look like.   
  
Luna shook her head. "No way, it has to be a girl, it's always been a girl! You can expect a guy to go around in a MINI SKIRT."   
  
"And besides, he's only one, we need five." Ami finished her argument, thinking herself the winner, and continued to read her book "Cute Boys and You" which was hidden behind the book "Computers of the Millenium".   
  
Minako smirked and crossed her arms "That's where you're wrong! There are five of them! He has four really great, really dreamy friends."   
  
"More cuties??" Makoto, Rei and Usagi swooned in unison. Luna and Artemis rolled their eyes, and Ami dropped her books.   
  
"Well...I don't know...I mean, do you really think they would want to do this? Especially with our uniform?" Ami asked hesitantly, raising a slender blue eyebrow.   
  
"Who says we're gonna tell them?"   
  
"USAGI!" Everyone screamed at the blond.   
  
Usagi looked up from stuffing her face with cake. "Muf?" she asked through a mouthful of food.   
  
Everyone blinked and looked over at the other blond. "Minako??" they questioned, looking over at the girl with shock. They had expected a remark like that from Usagi, but not from Minako.   
  
"WHAT!? Common guys, you know there's no one else. The guys I saw are perfect in every way. Trust me, there's no one better to leave the fate of the world to!"   
  
Everyone eyed Minako, than looked at each other.   
  
****   
  
This was definitely harder than they thought. This Duo guy had a hell of a lot of security on his house than any other person they had seen. Well, it's not everyday that they were at a mansion this size, so it was no real shock. They jumped over a wired fence, and looked into the window. The five boys were sitting around a fireplace. The one with a long braid was talking. A few second later, the blond began to laugh. They all drooled on the window. Damn, Minako was right, they were GORGEOUS. Ami shook herself out of her daze, and slapped the rest of them back into attention. They had chosen a dramatic entrece. Sailor Mars winded up, and was about to let lose a Flame Sniper when she noticed the guy with the dark hair and dark blue cobalt eyes was gone, she turned around to ask her friends where he was when she was met with the barrel of a gun. she screamed and backed up against the window. _ Oh, t-there he is..._ She thought. The other senshi had taken off somewhere, and Sailor Mars was face to face with the stoic boy. Well...more like barrel to face. She had been threatened with many things before, but not a gun!   
  
"What are you doing here? How did you get past security?" The boy asked bluntly, keeping the gun aimed steadily at her head. She gulped.   
  
"Ehehehe...well...umm..." And something hit her. She was the sailor Senshi of Fire! She'd show him who's boss! She straightened up and took a deep breath.   
  
"I am Sailor Mars! *pose* Champion of Fire! *another pose* And in the name of the planet mars, I will!...ask you to take my place..." She said sheepishly. Heero was not amused, so the gun stayed in place, but the trigger was pulled back somewhat.   
  
"W-wait! You have to believe me! HERE!" She pulled out her wand and held it out to him. He traced over the figure with his steely cobalt eyes, than looked back at her. She sweatdropped. "Aren't you going to take it??" He 'hn's' and pulls the trigger back a bit more. "Wait! Please wait! I promise nothing bad will happen, I mean, you're the one with the gun to my head, right? It would be stupid to try anything!" Once again, Heero was not amused. Suddenly the window behind her opened, and the blond popped his head out.   
  
"Common Heero, she didn't do anything bad. Just let her go, I'm sure she's too afraid to come back."   
  
Heero looked at Quatre, than back at Sailor Mars. Sailor Mars put on her best puppy eyes and pouted, trying to look innocent. "I'm really, truly, very sorry." She looked behind her and smiled at Quatre, than her eyes widened. Behind her she saw Sailor Venus and Jupiter sneak into the house and drop their wants onto the table. Than Sailor Mercury dropped hers in. Sailor Mars grinned -it was working, now all she had to do was give hers away. She looked back at Heero, who had lowered his gun. She nodded and turned to walk away, but faked a trip.   
  
"Oh! My ancle!" she cried as she toppled forward. She quickly tossed her wand behind her back and onto the floor of the house, pretending to be flailing her arms. She hit the floor with a loud CRUNCH, but ignored the pain. Mission Accomplished!   
  
****   
  
_Why did I even mention all this? This is the most hardest thing i've ever had to do!_ Sailor Moon thought to herself as she climbed the drainpipe which led to Duo's room. From the way Minako talked about him, he was perfect to be the leader. She climbed though the window -and fell flat on her face. She got up, took her locket off and laid it on his bed. She took one last look at the trinket which had saved the world countless times, than climbed out the window.   
  
***** Duo sighed and sat back down in the living room, what a day. First that weird girl with the blond hair, now someone had sat in their front lawn, crying. It was so loud that he, Wufei and Trowa just HAD to go over there to shut her up, which was a lot more difficult than you would think. _ Wufei's still ranting about weak onna's. Wonder how Heero did with that girl near the window. Damn stalkers._ Duo looked up as Heero and Quatre took a seat on the couch. Duo smirked.   
  
"So, how did it go, Hee-Chan?"   
  
Heero grunted and picked up his book again. Quatre giggled, and smiled at Duo. "She just looked lost, poor thing. You really do over react a lot Heero." Heero snorted and kept on reading. Quatre sighed and was about to start playing his violin when he noticed something on the table. "Hey, what are those things?" He questioned, pointing to the three wands that were on the small table. He bent down and picked up the yellow one, just as Wufei poked at the green one and Trowa grabbed the blue one and examined it. Heero than noticed a red one laying at the foot of the window. He remembered it as a gift the crazed girl had offered him. Seeing as it was doing no harm to his friends, he walked over and picked it up. Just as Heero began to look over the red wand, all of them began to shimmer. They all gasped in surprise and dropped the sticks, but it was too late. In a flash of red,blue, green, and yellow light, the boys were transformed.   
  
Duo stood in the middle of the room, covering his eyes from the blinding light. When he uncovered them, he started to laugh. I mean, really laugh. He was rolling around in the floor with laughter, his face turning red from lack of oxygen. There, standing with clueless expressions, where the four gundam pilots -in mini skirts. Heero looked down at himself. He looked at his skirt. He looked at his heals. Than he looked at the two bows. Heero screamed. Duo had to cover his ears. Heero never screamed, but when he did, damn!   
  
Wufei took one look at his pink bows and green mini skirt, and had a fit "WHAT THE DAMN HELL!? KISAMA! WHAT IS THIS!? I'M WEARING ONNA CLOSES! KUSO! SHITTIMA! GET.THEM.OFF.ME!!!!" He ripped, pulled, clawed and even tried to bite the skirt off but it wouldn't budge. He yelled as loud as he could and stomped off to find his sword.   
  
Trowa looked down at his blue high-heeled boots and mini skirt. He felt his ears and noticed blue earrings. He was going to be calm. Sure, he was dressed as a woman, but he- ah, screw it. "What the hell is going on here!?" Trowa yelled as he tried to walk in his boots and ended up tripping. He growled as loud as you'll ever hear him even talk. He also tried to tug at the skirt, but it wouldn't come off. "What the hell did those dumb wands do to us!?"   
  
Quatre looked at his orange heels and orange skirt and shrugged. "It could be worse."   
  
Trowa, Duo, and Heero looked up at Quatre.   
  
"Quatre, don't be such a pansy." Duo stated bluntly.   
  
Quatre frowned and ducked his head, ashamed.   
  
Wufei came down the stairs with cuts all up his legs. His hair was a mess, he looked like crap -but hey, his uniform was great! ^_^. "It won't bloody come off!!" He yelled and stomped his foot. "What is the meaning of this??"   
  
Duo started to crack up again. "oh, man! You guys are too much!!! HAHAHA!!" He whipped out a camera from hammerpace and snapped a picture. As soon as Heero, Trowa and Wufei saw the flash from the camera, they were after Duo. "COME BACK HERE!!" Duo cackled and ran up to his room, slamming and locking the door. He piled a few pieces of furniture up for good measure, and dropped down on his bed. He sighed and tucked the camera away. Than he noticed a shimmer at the corner of his eye. He turned his head an noticed a beautiful locket sitting on his bed. He sat up and looked at it. It had wings on the sides, and wonderful designs on the front. Did someone get this for him as a present? He leaned over to pick it up but stopped. _Wow Duo, remember what happened to your buddies down there? Don't pick up anything you don't know about. You could end up in a mini skirt._ He chuckled at that last thought. Damn, it was tempting though, but what would a boy do with a locket? Isn't it a bit girlish? Suddenly the locket started to shimmer a white light. He covered his eyes as an image of a beautiful woman with long white hair appeared. She smiled and said warmly "Usagi, what do y- wait a second...Usagi-Chan??"   
  
Duo looked at the girl and shrugged "Nope, sorry. Uhh...what are you doing in my room?"   
  
The gentle woman suddenly got a stern look on her face "Oh don't tell me she did what I think she did!" She all but screamed, placing her hands on her hips.   
  
Duo was very confused "Uhh...what?"   
  
She shook her head and tapped her foot "My lazy ass daughter, I knew she would do this one day. She got sick and tired of being a Senshi so she just handed it over to some guy. What a moron!" She put a hand to her forehead like she had a headache, and muttered things under her breath.   
  
Duo scratched his head "So...what are you trying to say? That now I'm a...'Sailor Senshi?'"   
  
"Duh."   
  
"Umm...and what is that?"   
  
She sighed "A Sailor Senshi is a sworn protector of the Moon Princess and all the is good. They fight bad people, protect the earth and moon kingdom, ex. ex."   
  
Duo shook his head "What? Like a super hero?" He mocked.   
  
"You could say that."   
  
Duo started to laugh. "Oh, PLEASE! How stupid do you think I am??"   
  
"What? How could you not believe me? Just look at your friends, they've been turned into the four Sailor Senshi, and you'll be Sailor Moon, the leader."   
  
Duo just looked at her like she was the stupidest thing alive "That could be any kind of trick, prove that we really are 'Sailor Senshi'."   
  
Queen Serenity sighed. "You asked for it." She lifted a porcelain finger and touched the tip of Duo's forehead, creating a moon symbol there. There was a flash of light, and everything went still.   
  
*******   
  
After being shown the past and present by Queen Serenity Duo understood everything. He sat on the bed in disbelief "Man...so we gotta do all the stuff those girls did? Why??"   
  
She sighed and shook her head "I told you, my dumbass daughter and her no good friends dumped, yes dumped, the responsibility on you. They didn't want the job anymore."   
  
Duo's jaw dropped. "WHAT!? Well you can tell those snobby girly girls to take their jobs back because we don't want them! We just went through a war, and we want to live in peace!"   
  
She shook her head once more, her hair flying in every which direction. "I'm sorry, but it has been done. You can't undo it. Now, take up the locket and transform."   
  
"HELL NO! I'm a GUY there is no way in hell I'm gonna go around in a-"   
  
"JUST DO IT YOU BIG BABY!!" She screeched and shook her Moon wand at Duo.   
  
Duo gaped, so much for being kind and gentle. He sighed and held up the locket, remembering the words from the vision.   
  
******   
  
The four boys sat in a circle, playing with their new wands. They sighed. They had tried everything; They tried to burn it off. Heero shuttered and patted his precious behind. Never doing that again. They tried to cut it off. Trowa rubbed his abused stomach as his three comrades had yanked at his clothing and tried to cut it off with hedge clippers. Who knew they had such bad aim? They also tried to just plain rip it off. Poor Quatre was still tending to his tortured digits. And Wufei had once again tried to slice it off with his Katana, ending up with more cuts all over his body. They were a mess. Suddenly, Duo appeared in the stair way. He wore an outfit similar to theirs, except his had white wings at the back. He had three layers of skirts, and his bow was very long and really thin. The sleeves were puffy and round, and the color scheme was off. His outfit was amazing. They stood there staring at him. He sighed, the moon symbol on his forehead shining. "I gotta talk to you guys..."   
  
*****   
  
After showing them the same vision Queen Serenity had shown him, he waited for a response. Wufei never seems to disappoint him. "Those stupid weak onna's! We have to go through this because of their incompetence!!???"   
  
Duo sighed. "Yup."   
  
"This sucks." Trowa stated. Everyone nodded.   
  
Duo's head shot up and he grinned "But hey! Nothing has happened around here for ages, so I don't think we have to worry!"   
  
Suddenly, the boys heard a crash and people screaming.   
  
"Oh hell."   
  
*****   
  
Chapter 2   
  
"NEVER! I REFUSE TO GO OUT INTO PUBLIC IN THIS...THIS...I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT!!"   
  
"Wufei! Calm down, will yah? It can't be that bad." Duo grabbed Wufei's flailing arms and tried to hold him still. To say Wufei was throwing a fit would be an understatement.   
  
"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!? This is insane! I say we march right over to those onna's houses and force them to take these stupid things back!" He growled as he slammed his wand to the ground and marched back into his room.   
  
Quatre sighed and sat down on the couch. "This is a mess. I agree with Wufei, these uniforms...er...well, they don't suit us. But we can't let those people out there get hurt."   
  
"Man, we just finished fighting a war and now we have to do this. This is so unfair!" Duo whined as he paced back and forth in front of the window. Some guy was picked up and thrown into a tree. "We have to do something, man!"   
  
"Why don't we just fight that one monster, and than look for those girls?" Heero suggested.   
  
"You actually want to go out there in this getup!? No way in hell!"   
  
"...." Suggested Trowa.   
  
"Damn, that's a good idea! Why didn't I think of that?"   
  
Heero looked a bit lost "He said something?"   
  
"Alright, let's start with Trowa's plan." Quatre said as he raised his wand.   
  
"What was the plan!? He didn't say anything!" Heero practically screamed, frustrated.   
  
"Heero, man, are you deaf or something? He said to attack the monster from in here."   
  
"Oh, right, how could I have missed that." Heero said flatly. He sighed and than spoke up. "How do we use these 'powers' Duo told us about?"   
  
"Well, mine are the ones I use to finish off the bad guy, but that Queen Lady said that for some strange reason the other Sailor Moon never used it right away. She always waited until other people beat it up before killing it. Either she was really stupid or it doesn't work unless the baddie is bleedin'."   
  
"Fine, so we go first." Heero stated, than turned to ask Duo another question but Trowa beat him to it.   
  
"......." Trowa suggested with great emotion *snickers*   
  
Duo and Quatre both lit up. "That's a great idea, Trowa!" Quatre beamed.   
  
"Man, your on the ball!" Duo exclaimed.   
  
Heero was ready to strangle someone. "I.Didn't.Hear.Anything."   
  
"Man, you really need to get your ears checked, Heero. Trowa said that his powers would blind everyone on the street, so we could go out and fight without being embarrassed!"   
  
"Fine, go ahead and do your thing, Trowa." Heero sighed and stepped back. Trowa opened the door and yelled "....!" and bubbles flooded the streets, creating a thick fog.   
  
"Cool move!" Duo beamed, and bounced out into the street. "Hey! You evil scumbag!" Duo yelled, and pointed a gloved finger at the monster. _ Evil scumbag? What the hell was that?_ Duo thought, puzzled at his horrible choice in insults. He shrugged it off and continued. "I am the Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon! And in the name of the moon-" He poses "I shall punish you! Did I just say all that?? Pretty Soldier??" Duo stood in the middle of the road confused as hell. Everyone in the house just stared at him.   
  
"Why do I suddenly have the urge to-" Heero was cut off by another voice yelling on the street. There jaws all dropped at what they saw.   
  
"I am the Sailor Soldier of Thunder! I shall not let you harm any of these innocents! In the name of the planet Jupiter!" He poses "I shall punish you, and bring justice to the planet!" Wufei finished his speech and posed next to Duo.   
  
Quatre burst out laughing.   
  
Trowa took a picture.   
  
Heero -wait, were the hell is Heero??   
  
A gloved finger was suddenly thrust into the air. It than came down and rested on a hip. The hands owner began to speak in a low husky voice. "I am the Sailor Soldier of Fire. I shall kill anyone stupid enough to bring more war to this planet, or space." Poses. "In the name of the planet mars, I shall kill you! And myself if I find out that this isn't a dream and I'm actually out here saying all this crap." Heero finished his speech and posed on his knees next to a very stunned and very red Wufei.   
  
Trowa was speechless. Big surprise.   
  
Quatre -oh god, not again.   
  
"Beware, evil monster! For I am the Pretty Sailor Soldier of love! I shall not let you terrorize this peaceful planet. For the earth and space, I shall punish you!" Quatre finished his speech, blew a kiss to no one in particular (yet for some strange reason it was aimed right at Trowa ^-~) and posed on the other side of Duo.   
  
Trowa blushed and sighed. He walked into the middle of the street infront of the other Gundam Pilots.   
  
"......." He exclaimed and posed next to Quatre.   
  
The monster stood in the middle of the street staring at the group of boys. She than scratched her head. "Um, excuse me. Not to question your abilities or anything, But uh...aren't the Sailor Senshi suppose to be...well, girls?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow.   
  
The boys looked at each other, and than Wufei spoke. "Well, the other Senshi were too damn lazy to do their job so they dumped it on us. And now we have to wear these stupid uniforms *snif* and and and run around saying these stupid speeches...*snif*...excuse me, I think I have something in my eye..." Wufei choked out, and he ran away crying.   
  
The monster looked a bit skeptic. "Um, right. Look, if any of you guys are gonna be pansy's like your friend over there." She gestured to Wufei with her thumb. "Than don't even bother, cause I don't mess around."   
  
The camera did a dramatic close up on Duo's face. He narrowed his eyes and said "Bring it on".   
  
They circled the monster like an old western movie. She suddenly leapt up and grew nails as long as baseball bats. She screamed and dived at Quatre, intending to sink her nails into his chest. Quatre 'eeked' and got on his knee's, covering his head with his arms. Heero gasped and jumped in front of Quatre, he narrowed his eyes and said "Flame Sniper!" He aimed and fired the arrow right into the monsters chest. Well, more like right into one of her...ehh...common you know what I mean! The monster screamed and wobbled away from Quatre, clutching her chest.   
  
"You...you hurt my titty!" she growled and lunged at Heero, sending nail clippers and nail polish remover bottles at him. Heero was somehow able to dodge everything. He seemed to be able to just be thrown out of the way. He landed on his butt after many dodging attempts and glared at the monster. She cackled and was about to chop all his hair off with a huge pair of nail clippers when a bolt of lightning hit her from behind. She doubled over, her hair charred. Wufei was standing behind her, the little antenna still sticking out of his tiara. "Justice will provail!" He declaired, and whipped out his katana. He charged at the monster but stopped in his tracks. He looked down and noticed that his legs were stuck to the ground. He gasped and tried to shake them loose but he was stuck. The monster grew long nails again and slowly walked towards Wufei. Suddenly a bright yellow chain of hearts wrapped around her waist. She looked behind her hesitantly and saw that Duo and Quatre had the other end of the chain in their hands. Behind them was a pit of rabid Relena fans. She gasped loudly and shook her head and hands.   
  
"No! please! NOT THAT!!"   
  
Duo and Quatre got very evil looks on their faces. "Oh, yes" they purred in unison, and yanked on the chain hard sending the monster flying through the air and landing into the pit. They all heard screams and sounds of tearing. They shuddered.   
  
"I think you should put her out of her misery." Heero said, shaking his head. Duo nodded and held up his wand high above the pit. "Honeymoon Therapy Kiss!" He shouted, and the monster was turned back into a human.   
  
"Eeek! Guys! That's a person down there! SAVE HER!" Quatre squealed and jogged up and down on one spot nervously.   
  
"Wait...isn't that..." Duo squinted and looked down into the pit, than he 'meeped' and jumped back.   
  
"RELENA!" everyone exclaimed in surprise. The monster was Relena.   
  
"Well, that's no surprise, I always knew she was a monster at heart." Duo joked.   
  
Quatre shook his head "We still have to help her!"   
  
"You help her, I'm going to bed." Duo yawned and went into the house.   
  
Quatre looked over at Wufei for help, but he was already gone. Than he looked over at Heero. Heero shrugged and walked after Duo. Trowa was about to walk away when Quatre grabbed his arm and gave him The Quatre Look(tm). Trowa sighed, not able to resist his charm, and went over to help Relena out of the pit. When they got to the ledge, however, there was nothing left but bones.   
  
"Oh well." Trowa shrugged and walked into the house, dragging a very guilty looking Quatre.   
  
****


	2. Chapter 2: Someone's P.Oed...

*bows* I'm so sorry! This chapter doesn't have very much humor, it's really more of a filler. But i've got a battle scene coming up in the next chapter, so I'll try my very best to make that one much more funny. *bows* Gomen, minna.   
  
Chapter 3   
  
The Gundam Pilots, or should I say Sailor Senshi, sat around the living room, depressed as hell. Running around in mini skirts saying retarded phrases was NOT something they planed to do for very long. They were going to find these girls and make them pay and pay dearly. Duo groaned and jumped up almost knocking a coffie table over.   
  
"WHY are we just sitting around like vegetables!? Shouldn't we be doing a little something??" Duo hinted as he fumed.   
  
Heero sat up from his slouching position and looked at Duo. "I'm too miserable. I can't believe I said all that. How...-"   
  
"WEAK!" Wufei answered for Heero. "Weak weak weak, I feel like an onna! I don't deserve to be called a man..."   
  
Quatre was so surprised by Wufei's statement that the tea he had in his mouth sprayed everywhere. He coughed and looked up at Wufei "Wufei! Don't say that!" He wiped some extra tea of his chin and put his cup down on the table. "It's not your fault. It's those uniforms, I just couldn't controle what I was saying!"   
  
"That's right Quatre, blame the uniforms for your pansiness."   
  
Quatre opened his mouth to argue with Duo, and Trowa was about to throw something at him, when Duo raised his hand. "Chill, I was just kidding. I called it an 'Evil Scumbag'. What the hell is that!? That's something a little kid would say!" Duo growled and sat back down on the couch.   
  
Heero sat up. "Your right though, we have to take action now before another one of those...whatever they are, attacks and WE have to stop it." With that, Heero walked out of the room in search of his dearest laptop.   
  
Duo nodded. "I'll walk around and try to see if I can find one of those girls we saw, they HAD to be the ones who did this to us."   
  
Quatre raised an eyebrow "You mean the girl near the window?"   
  
Duo nodded "And the girl with the weird hair crying in the lawn, and her two friends who were trying to help her. One of them was the same girl I saw when I was taking a walk. She was talking about someone doing them a favor. She must have been-"   
  
"HER!" Wufei shouted, and leaped up from his spot on the sofa. "It was her! That girl me and Yuy saw hiding behind a tree. We just thought she was some stupid fangirl and ignored her."   
  
Duo gasped, "She must have been following me around...now it all makes sense." He slammed his fist into his other palm. "It's all coming together, they did this to us. Now that we know who it is, we'll have a much better chance at finding them."   
  
"I'll go tell Yuy the new information." Wufei got up and went to go find Heero. Duo nodded and grabbed his jacket. "I'm going to look for them." He opened the door and stepped out, almost slamming it behind him.   
  
Quatre and Trowa just looked at each other. This wasn't going to be pretty.   
  
****   
  
Duo walked down the street, making sure to cover the sides of his head with the collar on his jacket. If those girls saw him they'd run for sure, and than where would he be? Suddenly Duo heard a loud, ear piercing cry. The same cry that came from that girl the other night. Duo broke out into a full sprint, trying to get to the source of the noise as fast as he could. He stopped when he came to a temple -they were ALL there. He rubbed his hands together and cackled. He whipped open his cell and called the others.   
  
****   
  
"I told you it would work! Didn't I tell you it would work?" Usagi bragged while sipping her chocolate shake.   
  
Rei growled and whacked her across the head with her broom. "Quiet! You brag too much for someone with no brain!"   
  
Usagi let out another wail and started to cry. Rei rolled her eyes.   
  
"Rei! Why are you so mean to her? Admit it, her plan worked." Minako taunted, and sipped her own chocolate shake.   
  
"Don't you guys feel sorry for the guys we left the job to?" Ami wondered, looking around at her friends as they celebrated.   
  
Makoto sighed. "Yeah, I was thinking about that when I saw their little victory on the news."   
  
Everyone looked up at Makoto in surprise. She blinked. "You guys didn't hear about it? Another deamon attacked the earth, and they defeated it."   
  
Everyone glared at Usagi, who shrinked back and giggled nervously.   
  
"No more evil, hun?" Rei mocked, raising her broom to whack Usagi again. Before she could hit her, she noticed someone coming near the temple. She paled. "oh no...we are in SO much trouble..."   
  
Everyone else gasped and froze. "T-they can't really do anything, right?" Minako questioned, and ran to hide behind Makoto.   
  
The first figure placed a single booted foot on the first step of the shrine. As soon as the second figure closed in, they both walked up the steps until they were a few feet away from the Ex-Senshi. Than two other people walked in from behind the trees and made their way up the stairs, stopping a step behind the first two. A fifth person stomped up the stairs and stopped beside the second person. The first and tallest, arms firmly folded together, glared at the cowering senshi and screamed.   
  
"What the hell did you think you were doing!?"   
  
Usagi almost cried out at the harsh tone. Minako was the first to speak "C-chill out, Haruka…"   
  
"DO NOT tell me to 'chill out'." She fumed. The second figure placed a delicate hand on Haruka's shoulder, causing her to calm down somewhat. She took a deep breath and spoke.   
  
"WHAT in the blue hell could have possessed you to do such a thing??" Michiru scolded, placing both hands on her hips.   
  
The ex-senshi were quiet, no one had any idea of what to say.   
  
The smallest person crossed her small chibi arms and glared at the black cat. "How could you have let them do this, Luna? I mean, I could expect something this stupid from Usagi-Chan, but not from you!"   
  
Usagi growled and jumped up to scold her future daughter, but the other's pulled her back down.   
  
"I'm truly surprised at all of you. I really respected you." The second youngest said, bowing her head and shaking it. Her shoulder length jet black hair bouncing around on her shoulders.   
  
Makoto gathered all her courage and spoke. "How did you know we gave them away?"   
  
The eldest held out a newspaper article. "We saw it in the papers. I am also truly surprised. You've all been through so much, why did you blow it now?"   
  
They all sighed and bowed their heads.   
  
"We just wanted a normal life…really, we were sick of having to fight all the time." Usagi said quietly.   
  
"Well that's not the way to do it!!" Haruka screamed. Hotaru tried to calm her but she shook her away. " I was expecting more than that from the Moon Princess, our Future Queen…"   
  
"My mommy" Chibi-Usa added.   
  
Usagi looked away from Haruka and Chibi-Usa, truly ashamed of herself. A tear slipped down her cheek, than another. And than she just started to blubber.   
  
"UWWAAAHHH!!! I'm sorry I'm sorry!!!!!"   
  
Everyone cringed and held their ears. "Usagi, be quiet!!" Setsuna hissed. She grabbed a lock of her long green hair and stuffed it in her ears.   
  
Hotaru heard a twig snap and whipped her head around. She tapped Usagi on the shoulder and pointed behind her. "Friends of yours?"   
  
Usagi stopped crying and looked up. She took one look at their visitors and screamed. The other senshi saw them too and would have bolted, but the Outer Senshi were blocking their exit.   
  
At the bottom of the stairs were all of the Gundam Pilots, and they didn't look very happy.   
  
Not very happy at all.   
  



	3. Chapter 3: Gundam Pilots Pay Back.

Yay! Another Chapter ^_^ Sorry for the other really short one. This one really isn't that long either though ^_^ And I'm purposly holding off a fighting scene just so you guys can piss in your pants :) Bwahahaha!   
Warnings: *gasps* Wufei used the F Word!   
Wufei: -_- Oh please, you use it all the ti-   
That's it for the warnings ^_^   
  
*******   
  
Chapter 4   
  
The Inner Senshi just stared back at the gundam pilots, millions of thoughts running through their minds. The most repeated however, was "We're gonna die, I'm gonna kill Usagi-chan."   
  
The outer Senshi looked completely lost. They had no idea who the boys that were staring holes through the Inner Senshi's heads were. That was until Setsuna recognized one of them from the add. She gasped in understanding than shook her head and turned to her other friends. "I suggest we leave, I think they have something they need to talk over." The other Outer Senshi nodded and turned to leave.   
  
"Wai! WAIT!" Usagi screamed and latched onto Haruka's arm. Haruka growled and tried to shake her off, but she held on a little too tightly.   
  
"Usagi, don't be a coward!" She screamed and tried to pry her off again. Usagi clinged for all she was worth to the taller girl, refusing to let go for anything.   
  
Michiru got an idea and went inside the temple. She came back out with a plate of cookies. "Usagi-Chan, look what I have for you." She held the plate up to her nose. Usagi took one look at the cookies and started drooling. She blinked, shook her head furiously and pushed the plate away with her nose. Everyone gasped in shock. Michiru shrugged and walked away.   
  
"Usagi, for the last damn time, GET OFF MY ARM!!"   
  
"NO! Don't leave us alone with them!!" She cried and clung harder.   
  
The other Inner Senshi had huge sweatdrops on their head. They covered their faces in embarrassment.   
  
"Ugh, Usagi, I can't believe you..." Minako sighed through her hands.   
  
Haruka had had just about enough and grabbed Usagi by her odangoes and pulled with all her might. Usagi didn't budge. She growled and grabbed a crowbar out of hammerspace, slipped it under her belly and tried to literally pry Usagi off her arm. Usagi still didn't budge.   
  
The Gundam Pilots stood at the foot of the stairs in shock while the scene was taking place. Haruka had literally tried everything to get Usagi off her arm. Crowbars, bombs, food, cute guys, biting, scratching, nothing worked. She finally gave up and just started whacking Usagi against the wall, much to everyone elses horror.   
  
"GET! *whack* Off! *whack* My *whack* ARM!!! *whack whack whack whack*   
  
"No -ouch!- way! -ouch!-" Usagi clinged harder even as she was starting to see stars.   
  
Haruak sighed and sat down, panting. "alright, alright I'll stay!"   
  
Usagi yipped with joy and let go of Haruka's arm, falling to the floor with a light thud. Haruka looked up and down her arm, which had turned a lovely pink. She laughed and yelled "NOT!" and took off running down the street. The other Outer Senshi watched Haruka run off with huge sweatdrops. Michiru was shaking her head.   
  
"Err...I guess we better go too..." Hotaru suggested, still looking back at the empty spot Haruka had been in with surprise.   
  
"No wait!" But before Usagi could latch onto another arm, the rest of the Outer Senshi were running down the street as well.   
  
The gundampilots looked back at the Outer Senshi with raised eyebrows. They looked at each other, nodded, and walked up the stairs.   
  
The Inner Senshi squeaked and backed up against the wall. Minako was the first to speak.   
  
"Ehe...hi?" She spoke unsurely, and waved slowly to them.   
  
"Yeah, hi." Duo answered flatly. As soon as the gundampilots had all reached the top of the stairs, the inner senshi turned to bolt.   
  
*SMACK*   
  
They forgot, however, that there was a wall behind them and they banged right into it. The gundam pilots winced as the inner senshi fell to the floor in a pile of limbs, moaning.   
  
Duo snickered "Oh no, you guys aren't going ANYWHERE." He ripped off the locket that was on his shirt and dropped it onto Usagi's face. "Take it, I don't want it."   
  
Usagi squeaked when she felt the cool metal hit her face, than grabbed it and jumped up. "But, you have too!"   
  
"SAYS WHO!?" Duo growled. Usagi 'meeped' and ran behind Minako and Rei.   
  
Quatre held up his hands. "Now now, this doesn't have to be ugly-"   
  
"Yes it damn does!" Wufei shouted, unsheathing his katana. "Those stupid onna's put us through hell and I'm going to make sure they pay for it!!"   
  
"I'm with Wufei."   
  
"I agree with Wufei and Duo."   
  
"I agree with Wufei, Duo and Heero."   
  
Everyone turned to Quatre.   
  
He sighed. "Oh hell, I give up! I'm with you guys."   
  
All the gundam pilots turned and looked at The inner senshi with VERY evil looks on their faces.   
  
The inner senshi huddled together in fear.   
  
"Hold me..." Usagi squeaked. The others happily obliged.   
  
******   
  
"These people CANNOT be human." Makoto snarled as she hung upside down by her feet above a pack of very horny teenage boys.   
  
"I know! Who would even think of these things? It's like they're terrorists!" Minako exclaimed, dodging volleyballs that were shot at her left and right.   
  
"They could very well be. It really wouldn't be a shock to me, but I think we deserved this." Ami stated while being forced to watch un-educational television.   
  
"It's like they know exactly what makes us tick! I don't think I deserved this! It's all Usagi-Chans fault!" Rei complained while being rotated above a huge barbeque.   
  
"HEY! Don't blame everything on ME. You didn't have to do it you know!" Usagi screamed, trying to defend herself AND try to get that plate of delicious cookies that were JUST out of reach.   
  
"Quiet all of you, or I'll turn of the torture a notch." Swinging back on his chair, Heero grinned. _Ah, sweet sweet revenge._   
  
"I really hate to ruin our fun, but check this out Heero." Duo swung the T.V around so that Heero could see it, and turned up the volume.   
  
_"Today in Happy Springs Park, a couple was attacked by something that was described by witnesses as a monster with a bad hairdo. More on this tonight at six."_ Duo switched the T.V off and looked back up at the rest of his friends. "You guys thinking what I'm thinking?"   
  
They all nodded. "But we have them now, so they can handle it and not us." Wufei stated, shining his katana.   
  
"That's true, so do we bring them down now?"   
  
Quatre nodded. "Yeah, I think they've had enough, let's fill them in on all the details while we get them out of their little nightmares."   
  
The gundam pilots nodded and went to let the Sailor Senshi down.   
  
****   
  
"WAAAAAAAHHH!!! I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT ANYMOOORRREEEEE!!!"   
  
Everyone growled and covered their ears.   
  
"USAGI SHUT UP!!" Everyone shouted, causing the girl to clamp her mouth shut tightly.   
  
"Look, if you people are too damn lazy to have responsibilities than that's your damn problem, but don't dump this shit on us!" Duo growled. The other gundampilots nodded.   
  
"LEARN to DEAL with your own damn problems you weakass onna's!" Wufei screamed, getting up and ready to do some dicing. Heero and Trowa grabbed Wufei's arms and pulled him back down.   
  
"If this job was meant for you than you're the ones who have to do it." Trowa finished, crossing his arms.   
  
"Bu-"   
  
"No Buts!" The gundampilots cut in. They grabbed their wands and held it out to the other senshi.   
  
"Take them back now." Heero ordered.   
  
"No and you can't make us!" Usagi refused stubbornly. The other senshi looked at Usagi and mouthed for her to shut up, but she refused to give up.   
  
"Would you like us to torture you again?" Trowa asked, reaching for his gun. The other senshi shook their heads and apologized for their friend.   
  
Suddenly the wall exploded, sending chuncks of drywall flying everywhere. The senshi screamed and coverd their heads with their hands. The gundampilots ducked for cover and pulled out their guns.   
  
"Nakariiii..." The figure sang in a high-pitched voice. When the dust cleared they could see that it was another monster.   
  
"A Deamon!" Shouted Makoto.   
  
"Everyone, transform!" Ami orderd. They all reached for their wands but rememberd what they had done. They turned to look at the Gundampilots.   
  
And met the barrel of a gun.   
  
"There's no way in bloody hell we're going through that again!" Wufei shouted, pointing his gun at the first senshi he saw.   
  
"But there's no time for us to get our powers back! You have to do it! You're our only-" Minako was cut off as she and the other inner senshi were sent flying into a wall by the daemon Nakari.   
  
The gundam pilots looked at each other and groaned.   
  
Duo sighed and held up his locket.   
  
The other gundam pilots did the same. Trowa had to lift Wufei's hand for him since he wasn't going to do it himself.   
  
"Mercury Crystal Power" Trowa stated flatly.   
  
"Mars Crystal Power"   
  
"Venus Crystal Power"   
  
"....."   
  
Everyone turned and glared at Wufei. Wufei sighed.   
  
"Jupiter Crystal Fucken' Power"   
  
In a flash of light they were all transformed. Duo had also transformed while everyone else was shouting their Henshin.   
  
They all got in a fighting position and awaited the painfully embarrassing battle. 


	4. Chapter 4: The Last Battle.

  
Chapter 5   
  
Heh…Two short chapters in a row, whoopsies ^_^ Gomen! I'll try to make this one a lot longer and funnier. I think I'm losing my touch o.O   
Sick Little Voice in the Back of My Head: I can give you some pointers :)   
Kaosu: * SPLAT * How many times do I have to flatten you for you to get a clue?   
Now Flat Sick Little Voice in the Back of My Head: * twitch * X_X   
Warnings: Errr…possibly some very mild swearing (damn's and such) and errr…more cross-dressing ^_^ And violence. Sick twisted violence ^___^.   
  
**** Suddenly their was laughter. Lot's and lots of laughter. The gundma pilots turned around to see the Inner Senshi laughing their asses off. They were rolling around on the floor, clutching their stomachs and turning blue from lack of oxygen. The Gundam Pilots didn't appreciate this very much. They stomped right over to them and stood infront of them, glaring for all they were worth. When the Inner Senshi were done laughing, they looked up to see a few very ticked off Gundam Pilots.   
  
"To save your own life, tell me you weren't laughing at us." Heero growled and sent them the world famous Heero Yuy Glare of Death™.   
  
Rei stopped laughing long enough to answer him. "N-no, of course not…*snicker"   
  
"Than what are you laughing at?" Quatre questioned. All the patience that we once possessed was literally flying out the window. No, I'm serious! See, there it goes! *Little chubby hand points to the window were little Quatre's with wings are flying towards.* See! I told you.   
  
"Ummm….YOU!" They all started to laugh again. The gundam pilots had had enough.   
  
"YOU STUPID ONNA'S ARE THE ONES WHO DID THIS TO US! SO I SUGGEST YOU SHUT UP OR TASTE STEEL!" Wufei whips out his katana and points it at Rei's head. Rei shuts up.   
  
"Umm…excuse me."   
  
Everyone turns around to see the Daemon tapping her foot impatiently. "You guys are supposed to be fighting ME and not THEM. Can we please get on with the pointless battle scene now? Thank you."   
  
The Gundam Pilots blink than shrug and get back in defensive positions.   
  
"Oh no…I got that urge again…"   
  
"What urge?"   
  
"I got the urge to Herbal."   
  
"What??" Everyone looks up at Duo.   
  
"Hun? WHOOPS! Sorry, been watching too much T.V ^_^"   
  
Everyone: -_-()   
  
"No, I mean that OTHER urge."   
  
"Oh no…Not THAT urge!" Quatre gasps and puts a hand to his mouth in shock.   
  
"What…oh god no, not that! RESIST THE TEMPATION!!" Wufei screams, whipping out a bible. "Do not give in to the evils! Resist and you shall be saved!!"   
  
"I…can't…force…too…strong…"   
  
"No Duo, don't do it!!" Heero grabs Duo's shoulders and shakes them.   
  
"Duo, don't listen to that little voice inside your head!"   
  
Duo turns and looks at Trowa with a raised eyebrow. "What little voice?"   
  
"You mean that's only me?"   
  
Everyone nods slowly.   
  
"Oh, okay. Never mind than."   
  
Duo blinks at Trowa than shakes his head "Okayyy…Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah!" Ehem "I can't…I MUST!" Duo wiggles out of Heero's grip and jumps in front of the monster.   
  
"NO!! DUO DON'T DO IT!!"   
  
"Stop right there you evil piece of trash! I won't let you go any further! Hurting couples is wrong, no one should be able to stop the strong force that is love!" He poses "I am Sailor Moon, and in the name of the moon" More posing. He crosses his arms, than points one finger up in the air. More hand tricks, than some weird stuff with his legs. Than he just starts spinning around in circles. Than he stops, looks a bit dizzy, and start's doing fancy things with his hands, and even more spinning. "I shall punish you!" Than one final pose.   
  
The gundam Pilots, Inner Senshi, AND the daemon all give Duo weird looks.   
  
"Do I really look that retarded when I do it?" Usagi asks under her breath. The other Senshi nod her heads, and Usagi bows her head in embarrassment "Oh…"   
  
"Man, that was messed up, wasn't it Wu- Where did Wufei go!?" Heero looks around in all directions and isn't able to find Wufei. "Oh…no…"   
  
A long piece of metal is suddenly thrust into the air. It comes back down and gets put back into its sheath. " I am the Sailor Soldier of Thunder!" Poses "I shall not let you bring injustice to this planet, you ugly weakass onna!" He posses again, a bit of lightning coming from his tiara. "And in the name of the planet Jupiter!" He switches poses yet again. "I shall punish you!" He poses one last time next to Duo.   
  
Everyone sweatdrops.   
  
"Don't forget about me!" Someone bounces in front of the Daemon and gets on their knees. "I am the Pretty Sailor Soldier of Love! I wont let you ruin some ones romantic moment ever again! I cannot forgive you for what you've done! In the name of the planet Venus" Poses, and blows yet another kiss. "I shall punish you!" One final pose next to Wufei.   
  
Someone else runs and skids to a stop right in front of the daemon. "Hey! You! Yah I'm talking to you! I shall not let you live for what you've done. I am the Pretty Sailor Soldier of Fire!" Switches position and puts one hand on his hip, one hand in the air with the pointer finger extended. "In the name of the planet mars I will kill you and anyone who saw me say all this shit!" He poses on the other side of Duo.   
  
Another person slowly walks out from his spot, stands in front of the daemon and says "I'm Sailor Mercury, and your gonna die." He walks over to where his other friends are, and poses next to Heero. Everyone has huge sweatdrops on their heads.   
  
"Nice job, Trowa" Duo comments flatly.   
  
"Oh, I'm sorry for not jumping around like a pansy saying speeches that little kiddies would say and twirling around like a friggen idiot."   
  
Everyone stares at Trowa. Quatre starts to cry.   
  
"Oh, now see what you've done!" Heero scolds.   
  
"Oops! I'm sorry Quatre, your not a pansy. Your speech was…nice…"   
  
Quatre lights up.   
  
"EHEM"   
  
Everyone turns to look at the daemon.   
  
"If your all quite finished acting like MORONS can we PLEASE get on with the fight?"   
  
Everyone nods.   
  
"Good. Nakariii!!" She jumps up and launches giant afros at everyone. The Gundam Pilots all dodge but the Inner Senshi become trapped inside the huge mass of hair.   
  
"H-help…can't breath…"   
  
"Eek! We've got to help them!" Quatre runs to try and get them free, but the daemon blocks his way.   
  
"Time to…DISCO!"   
  
Quatre blinks "Disco?"   
  
The Daemon points her finger at Quatre and his Fuku goes all shiny, he than beings to dance. "What the hell!?"   
  
"Quatre, what the hell are you doing?" Wufei asks, watching Quatre do the Moon Walk and the John Travolta dances.   
  
"I can't help myself! Someone stop me damnit!!" He squeaks while thrusting his hips.   
  
"I dunno, I kinda like you like this…" Trowa says dreamily while watching Quatre's every move. He snaps out of it and turns around. The other Gundam Pilots are giving him weird looks. "Opps…Did I say that out loud?"   
  
"Riiight…don't worry! I'll help you, Quatre!" Duo runs up to Quatre and whacks him on the head with his wand.   
  
"OUCH! WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?"   
  
"Well you stopped dancing didn't you?"   
  
Quatre stops complaining and looks down. "Hey, I did stop!"   
  
"NAKARI!!!" The daemon yells, enraged. She grows 6 inch platforms and stops over to Duo. "I'm going to crush you! Ehehehehehehe!"   
  
Duo and Quatre look at each other. "……..AAAHHH!!!!" They whip around and bolt.   
  
The daemon chases after them. "I'm going to stomp on you! Ehehe- OUCH!!" A giant bolt of lightning strikes her right platform shoe, causing it to melt and go from 6 inches to 3 inches. She yelps and falls onto her butt. Duo and Quatre stop running.   
  
"Stupid onna and her stupid shoes…" Wufei mutters and the antenna goes back into her tiara. Duo and Quatre pounce Wufei.   
  
"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!"   
  
"ACK! Get off me!" Wufei shoves Duo and Quatre off him causing them to hit the floor.   
  
"Take it easy Wu-man we were just thanking you."   
  
"Uhh…guys, a little help here."   
  
Everyone turns to see Heero trapped under the daemon who is trying to kiss him.   
  
"Common stud, give mommy a nice fat smoocheroo." She says and puckers up, leaning in closer to Heero. Heero has his legs up under her stomach and is pushing her up while she try's to go down.   
  
"HELP ME!!" He squeaks. Duo gets up and growls loudly. He raises his staff and yells "Honeymoon Therapy KISS!" The attack hits the daemon and sends it flying into a wall. It turns back into a human and peels itself off the wall, falling to the ground flat as a pancake. They all huddle around the person and snicker when they find out who it is.   
  
"Oh, look at that, It's Relena again.   
  
Quatre scratches his head. "Wait, how is that possible? Didn't she die already?"   
  
"How can you turn into one of those things twice?"   
  
"Why is that stupid onna wearing a halter top?"   
  
"Why do you care?"   
  
"Why are you people asking such stupid questions!?" They all turn to see the Inner Senshi lying on the ground gasping for air. "It's about damn time! I was suffocating in that stupid thing. Whoever owned that hair never washed it!" Makoto coughed and wheezed some more.   
  
"Well, now that we beat the badguy, you can take your stupid jobs back." Duo grabs his locket and hands it to Usagi. "Right guys?" He tuns to see the other Gundam Pilots fidgeting with their wands. They look up at Duo and smile.   
  
"Oh no…are you guys serious!?"   
  
"Well, I felt a little lost after the war, like I had nothing to live for. Now I have a purpose." Wufei states calmly.   
  
"Yeah, and it's a lot of fun! And we aren't hurting humans!" Quatre beams.   
  
"And I get to kill things again and not feel guilty." Heero says while tucking his wand away.   
  
Duo sweatdrops and mutters curses under his breath. "I can't believe this…oh, fine! We're keeping your jobs you lazy asses." He grabs his locket back and stomps away.   
  
"Thank you!" Usagi calls out and waves goodbye.   
  
"Have fun!" Ami shouts and waves also.   
  
*****   
  
Duo sits on the couch and continues to mutter curses under his breath while glaring at each and every gundam pilot.   
  
"Oh common Duo it's not that bad."   
  
"How is it not bad!? You guys are sick! SICK I TELL YOU!!"   
  
"Duo…" Heero sits up and glares at Duo   
  
"Wait, let me guess, 'Omae O Korosu' right? Or 'shut the hell up' or-"   
  
"Did I tell you how good you looked in a skirt?"   
  
The End.   
  
*****   
Wahahaha! I left the ending like that so I could torture you all. Well, did yah like did yah like!? I tried to make it as long as possible but that really isn't my forte. Anyways, R&R! 


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